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Questions
1.
Eli, Therapist said that Anger is a key survival tool in any culture with any group of people. So, anger does two things for us, such as?
2.
The three parts of T.I.E. Anger Management model are as follows;
3.
How do we express our dissatisfaction . . . this pervasive feeling of unrequited needs?
4.
The feeling language has five main words:
5.
The next category of command phrases is getting angry with you, resulting in self-abuse expressed as inner anger. Self-abuse command phrases often take this form:
6.
BBC stands for Beliefs—Behavior Continuum. Everyone has certain beliefs about life, their worldview. This view is based upon?
7.
This little analogy came from a book entitled The Dance of Anger by Dr. Harriet Lerner?
8.
It creates a calming effect to help manage strong emotions such as anger or anxiety?
9.
Actual identities of these two men who by means of their dialogue guided us through this anger management method?
10.
Faulty belief results in harmful behaviors that we are often not able to see. Knowing where certain beliefs come from enables us to challenge them, thus freeing ourselves to live happier and more satisfying lives. The entire purpose of this book is?
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Answers
A. Feeling, Thoughts, and Action. What am I feeling? What thoughts are driving those feelings? What am I going to do about it?
B. Anger is an early warning system. Anger is your radar for incoming insults, threats, or other attacks. Without this radar, we could not react in time, and might be consumed by today’s equivalent of Tyrannosaurus Rex.
C. Anger is a normal reaction and we often express this as destructive rage.
The opposite of finger pointing is looking at us! Turning it around and pointing our thumbs at ourselves. This is an "Internal Locus of Control" as in, "My Life Will Change . . .When I Change." This paradigm shift from external to internal, from finger pointing to thumb declaration is the hardest work we have to do. However, like most hard work, it is incredibly rewarding. I call this "Thumb Work". So, Finger Work creates resentment and Thumb Work makes changes.
D. Improving your life by the skill necessary to manage powerful emotions.
E. Mad, Sad, Glad, Hurt, and Fear.
F. The invitation to join them in chaos. People often get into patterns, recognizable patterns of how they deal with one another. She says this and you do that, or you do this and she says that. A pattern. It’s as if you two are in a dance and you both know the steps so well, you’re doing them unconsciously or by rote. If I were watching you dance, it would be a graceful dance because you have danced together for so long. Unless you told me, just watching you glide across the dance floor, I wouldn’t know if it was a painful dance for one or both of you.
G. "I’m wrong", "I’m no good", "I can’t do anything right", "No one cares", "I always screw up"and "No one could love me"
H. Both men are the writer of this course. He gave them false identities and names. They are separated by over twenty years of experience and wisdom. JACK, CLIENT is the writer in his early forties when I was wrestling with the addictions of both of my children, a failed marriage, and the loss of my business. Eli, Therapist is the writer in his mid-sixties with much more experience, but to his great surprise still remorseful about his reaction back when his daughter tried to sneak out. He know there were many other times where my anger hurt family members, but this one sticks out as the most memorable and most painful.
I. Deep breathing
J. Their education, experiences, parental messages, and their own thought processes. These beliefs tend to dictate their thinking. Faulty belief systems tend to cause faulty thinking. Beliefs based upon truth drastically improve thinking. Tying it all together, human behavior is based upon how a person thinks. A man sat upon a cactus and suffered the consequence of thorns. When asked why he did that he replied "It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
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