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Section 6
Beliefs—Behavior Continuum

Question 6 | Test | Table of Contents | Printable Page

Sixth counseling session—November 7th

Beliefs – Behavior Continuum

ELI, THERAPIST: Good to see you, JACK, CLIENT. Let’s start this session with the BBC Model. The bottom left half of this figure is obvious to most people. . . from behavior comes results. A student, who studies hard, attends classes, pays attention, will usually perform with greater results than one who goofs off. For the most part, this is a fact of life; the rewards belong to those who behave in a certain manner. Good behavior gets good results and bad behaviors are equally rewarding but with negative results.

JACK, CLIENT: Why is it called BBC?

ELI, THERAPIST: Oh, that stands for Beliefs—Behavior Continuum. It’s a collection of several other people’s work such as Patrick Carnes and his Addictive Cycle, and Albert Ellis with his Rational Emotive Therapy. Like this one, so many theories are based upon other people’s work. We each add a little more to the knowledge base.

JACK, CLIENT: So results follow behavior, what’s the rest of this model?

ELI, THERAPIST: Everyone has certain beliefs about life, their worldview. This view is based upon their education, experiences, parental messages, and their own thought processes. These beliefs tend to dictate their thinking. Faulty belief systems tend to cause faulty thinking. Beliefs based upon truth drastically improve thinking. Tying it all together, human behavior is based upon how a person thinks. A man sat upon a cactus and suffered the consequence of thorns. When asked why he did that he replied "It seemed like a good idea at the time!"

JACK, CLIENT: I know that cactus!

ELI, THERAPIST: Yeah, we’re trying to get those thorns out of your butt!

JACK, CLIENT: Thanks, I feel better already!

ELI, THERAPIST: You’re welcome. Now, to complete the cycle, the result of the behavior reinforces a person’s belief system.

JACK, CLIENT: I get it. Until that belief system is challenged, the cycle continues, it doesn’t matter if it is correct or not. We believe it is so because it fits our worldview.

ELI, THERAPIST: Great. Now here’s an example: take the elephant at the circus, when they are not performing they are kept outside the tent with a rope tied around one of their legs and anchored to the ground with a large stake. Just looking at that elephant, it would be logical to assume an animal that strong could break the rope, but they don’t, how come?

JACK, CLIENT: Don’t know.

ELI, THERAPIST: When the elephant was a baby the same rope was tied to the same leg. The baby tugged and tugged on the rope but was not strong enough to break it. One day it learned that no matter how hard it pulled on the rope it was stuck. On that day, the baby elephant knew that when tied to a rope, escape was impossible.

JACK, CLIENT: What leg?

ELI, THERAPIST: Now I really don’t know, let’s say the left one.

JACK, CLIENT: I’m pulling your chain; you’re easy to do that with.

ELI, THERAPIST: Yes, you are good at that. Some people are and you’re one of them. You evidently have my combination!

JACK, CLIENT: Got you irritated?

ELI, THERAPIST: Is it that obvious?

JACK, CLIENT: Are you "I over E" now?

ELI, THERAPIST: I am now, and thanks for the reminder that I still need to work on the control of my own anger.

JACK, CLIENT: Control or management?

ELI, THERAPIST: Management. You’re learning very fast. Here . . . you hold the clipboard and be the therapist. I’ll be the client.
Another example: When my nineteen-year-old son helped me give a talk to a singles group, I planned to use this model and showed it to him. After I explained the model, he said, "Oh, I know how that works. When I was ten, you told me I couldn’t save money."

Sheepishly, I said, "I did?" And he said, "Yeah, you did."

Although I did not remember the incident, I knew what he said was true. In my frustration with his ten-year-old lack of fiscal responsibility, I probably said that. What a message! Here was

the man who he respected, and who loved him, making that statement. Dad said it, and then it must be true!

With that firmly embedded in his belief system, his thoughts were all about spending. And since thoughts dictate behavior, he never let a nickel stay long enough to burn a hole in his pocket. What was the result of spending everything he had? He was constantly broke! That result reinforced his belief system, that he could not save money.

When he told me that, I declared in my most emphatic voice: "Son, I was dead wrong, I truly believe you can save money!" Ten years later, he was laid off at his job. He did not call me for help because he used his SAVINGS!

JACK, CLIENT: Man, it sounds like you screwed up your kids as badly as I did mine! Then again, you had a chance and corrected that mistake.

ELI, THERAPIST: Where do you think my wisdom comes from? It’s from what I’ve done wrong and the lessons learned because of those mistakes. What I do now as a therapist is penance for all the harm I’ve done. It is my way of apologizing and making amends. Maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else avoid hurting someone. And when that happens, I can add a little more forgiveness toward myself.

JACK, CLIENT: I really appreciate what you just said. You’re not perfect and have much regret, just like me.

ELI, THERAPIST: More than you know, my friend.

JACK, CLIENT: Maybe I can forgive myself.

ELI, THERAPIST: I know you can. If I can, I know you can!

JACK, CLIENT: I want to believe you.

ELI, THERAPIST: Trust the process, keep working, and it’ll happen.

JACK, CLIENT: Trust the process?

ELI, THERAPIST: Yeah, trust the process!

Now think of the command phrases you used in the anger example. As I recall, it was: "She can’t do this to me! I’ll teach her to disrespect me! She thinks she runs this family but she doesn’t!"

JACK, CLIENT: And don’t forget "My wife will respect me for the way I’m handling this."

ELI, THERAPIST: How could I forget?

JACK, CLIENT: Remember, we have established that you are not perfect!

ELI, THERAPIST: Yes, I’m not perfect. Definitely not. Not Gandhi, Lincoln, or MLK.

JACK, CLIENT: Human.

ELI, THERAPIST: Yeah. I’ve committed more than my share of mistakes.

JACK, CLIENT: You don’t have a retro-spectra-scope?

ELI, THERAPIST: If I had one, knowing me back then, I would not have used it!

See, I knew better. I had the answers. If you don’t believe me, just ask me and I’ll set you straight.

But let’s get back . . . those command phrases were embedded into your belief system in the moments of strong emotions. Your subconscious mind now has those command phrases as your truth.

JACK, CLIENT: So that is why what I think is real . . . because it is embedded in my emotional memory?

ELI, THERAPIST: Exactly.

Like when we are angry with our boss and call him a "jerk" under our breath. In our subconscious mind, over time and with repetition, that definition becomes a belief about him. Then whenever we think about the boss, our subconscious mind searches for his image and comes up with the belief that says, "Jerk!" If that belief were strongly held, how would it affect the way we interact with him?

JACK, CLIENT: I would expect him to be a jerk and would look for evidence that proves my belief.

ELI, THERAPIST: You got it! When we are emotionally drunk, what we say to ourselves and to others often has lasting and sometimes devastating effects.

JACK, CLIENT: Wow! All the horrible messages I’ve given to those I love. My gut hurts!

ELI, THERAPIST: Words are powerful, especially when they affect those who are close to us.

JACK, CLIENT: I need to go home and lick my wounds.

ELI, THERAPIST: Think about that for a moment. If you are operating out of excessive guilt . . . are you emotionally sober or emotionally drunk?

JACK, CLIENT: I see what you are saying . . . not forgiving myself keeps me emotionally drunk.

ELI, THERAPIST: That is correct. . . shall we make another appointment?

JACK, CLIENT: Absolutely!

QUESTION 6
BBC stands for Beliefs—Behavior Continuum. Everyone has certain beliefs about life, their worldview. This view is based upon?
To select and enter your answer go to Test.

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