Healthcare Training Institute - Quality Education since 1979
CE for Psychologist, Social Worker, Counselor, & MFT!!
In the last section, we discussed Four Implications of Choosing Anger. These included that there is nothing inherently right or legitimate about anger, anger is an expression of stress, forget displacement and anger is a choice.
In this section, we will discuss Four Areas of Understanding That Assist in Helping Your Client to Take Personal Responsibility for Anger. These four areas include understanding how to state your needs, understanding that others know their needs,understanding inevitable collision of needs and understanding strategies for satisfaction.
♦ #1 Understanding How to State Your Needs
Vincent told Anna from time to time that "it would be nice" if she touched his genitals more often. But Anna had no way of knowing how deep Vincent’s desire was or precisely what sort of touching felt most stimulating to him. Nonetheless, Vincent blamed Anna for not really caring about his pleasure. Do you have a client who has difficulty conveying his or her own needs?
The fact was that Tom despised driving because he spent long hours on the road during his work week. Clara eventually came to accept that Tom’s responsibility was to take care of his needs and not hers. Do you have a client who has a hard time letting others focus on their own needs?
♦ #3 Understanding Inevitable Collision of Needs
While Grace waited for her kids, anxiety rose as she imagined them being abducted. The fear was unnerving, so Grace pushed it away with her anger. When Grace reframed the problem as a collision of needs, she was able to work on solving her problem. Grace talked with Luke and realized that he tended to return late because he wanted to spend more time with his children. Grace needed predictability and Luke needed more time.
Grace and Luke were able to begin to compromise by setting later drop-off time for the children. They also agreed that Luke would call if he was going to be late. By providing Grace with the piece of information that peoples’ needs inevitably conflict, she had started the basis for resolution of the late drop-off with her ex-husband, Luke. Do you have a client whose needs conflict with those of a loved one? Would it be beneficial to play this section of the CD and explore collision of needs with them?
♦ #4 Understanding Strategies for Satisfaction
I stated to Simon, "As we have discussed, your happiness depends on how well you meet your needs and avoid pain. If you are dissatisfied with your life, you need to find a different strategy." Eventually, Simon developed a better way of coping. Simon expressed hurt rather than anger. April was encouraged to express the needs motivating her criticism. Both Simon and April developed more effective ways of coping, helping them start to improve their relationship. Do you have a client whose is unhappy because he or she isn’t meeting his or her own needs?
♦ Technique: Inner Rules
Vincent stated, "I realize now that just because Anna can’t read my mind doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. I just have to try harder to communicate what I want or need sometimes." Do you have a Vincent who is an anger management client who would benefit from information regarding his or her inner rules?
In the next section, we will discuss Six Steps to Responsibility. These include reinforcing others, meeting your own needs, finding support elsewhere, setting limits, negotiating assertively and letting go.