Healthcare Training Institute - Quality Education since 1979
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In the last section, we discussed active responses to anger. These included expressing a specific need and negotiating.
In this section, we will discuss passive responses to anger. These passive responses to anger will include: getting information, acknowledgement and withdrawal.
Three Passive Responses to Anger
I stated to Lucinda, "Many conflicts stay unresolved because one or both parties harbor unexpressed feelings or needs. If things feel stuck, something you might consider doing is to as questions to understand more about Mandy’s feelings and needs."
♦ Cognitive Behavior Therapy Technique: The Salesman
Mandy retorted, "Well, whenever we get late admissions, you can’t take them. You’re too behind. And then when you have special problems, you don’t have time to solve them. The admissions and the problems often end up in my lap." I stated to Lucinda, "Mandy’s tone may have been hard-edged, but now you understand her concern. From here, you have a point from which to begin negotiating, if you choose to."
♦ Response #2 Acknowledgement
I stated to Ransom, "People often want to know that you understand what’s bugging them. They need to feel heard. All you have to do is say in your own words what you understand their feelings or needs to be."
Ransom, also, tried The Salesman Technique. Ransom’s results were as follows. Martin said, "I’m afraid you’re not going to be able to compete. It’s a technological world. A lot of jobs will depend on knowing this stuff. You’re going to be stuck at the low end of the pay scale because you didn’t learn it while you had a chance."
Ransom replied, "What’s worrying you about my grades is that I’ll be stuck in a pretty low-level job. I won’t be able to compete." Ransom later said to me, "I almost said, ‘You think a C makes me a computer idiot.’ But then I realized that he’d think I was mocking him, and I didn’t want to make him angrier by being sarcastic."
♦ Response #3 Withdrawal
I mentioned to Lucinda, "If things are continuing to escalate despite a series of adaptive responses, it might be a good time for damage control. You may remember that when a situations looks like it is heading towards an argument, the Time Out Technique entails saying, ‘It feels like we’re starting to get upset. I want to stop and cool off for a while.’ It can be helpful to keep repeating this statement like a broken record until you can get disengaged. The key is to physically exit the situation as soon as possible."
In this section , we discussed passive responses to anger. These included getting information, acknowledgement and withdrawal.