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1. Note your personal reference points that assist you in consciously experiencing your emotions. How do you feel in your body when these emotions are present?

Happiness Fear Empowerment Anger Want to cry Rage Terror, panic Depression Sadness

Love Empowerment Joy Numbness Hatred Grief After crying Sweetness Self-love

Others:

2. How do you feel when you are not experiencing your emotions?

3. What are some of the ways that you know for sure that you are experiencing your feelings?

Personal Growth Funnel
When we are closest to having what we want, our greatest fears and self-doubts emerge. Fears include:
1.) fear of loss of self, control, comfort zones, and relationships;
2.) fear of change and death;
3.) fear of success;
4.) fear of our personal power.
Fear of the unknown is the glue that binds us to our known realities. At the point of change, we have earned the right to experience the other side of the funnel - joy, freedom, rebirth, and empowerment.

Know and Understand
Know that we all have unexpressed emotions. Everyone has some issues about not being loved or appreciated. All of us have some concerns about feeling separate or different from others. This is true no matter how much people deny this or how self-confident they appear to be. The reason that we all have such issues in common is that none of us always experienced love and appreciation exactly when and how we wanted to.

They key is what we want to do now. Do we want to blame others and feel victimized, or do we want to progress with our lives? If we want to go forward, do we want the easiest and fastest way or a slower and more tedious route? All roads eventually lead to the same place, so our route of travel is a personal choice.

Select the Fast or the Slow Lane
Make a decision. Select the fast lane or the slow lane, without judging your choice. You can change lanes at any time. The following describes some of the choices available to you.

Slow Lane
Talk about and analyze your feelings rather than feel them.
Judge your emotions. Label them as bad or good.
Need to know why things are as they are and why you feel as you do.
Blame someone or something for the circumstances of your life.
Resist changing and growing.

Fast Lane
Experience the sensations in your body and express them using sounds and physical movement.
Allow your emotions to be present without judging them or trying to change them.
Feel your emotions without slowing yourself down to figure out the “why’s.”
Take responsibility for your own life and continue to move forward.
Experience your new power, freedom, and wholeness.

If you select the slow lane, notice the areas in which you resist your emotions. Notice that you would rather talk about and analyze your feelings than experience them. Note that you tend to judge your emotions and label them as good or bad. You want to know why things are as they are and why you feel as you do, because you want someone or something to blame rather than moving forward with you life.

Be aware that you are hanging out in the desert rather than walking through it so that you can enjoy the oasis. If you enjoy stifling heat and you have brought along plenty of water, stay in your intellect and continue to avoid your feelings. Try to figure out why things are as they are. Blame others for your characteristics or the situations in your life.

If you want to munch on dates and sip cool drinks in a hammock underneath a palm tree or swim in the pool, try the fast lane and see if you like it. You can always change lanes again.

Personal Reflection Exercise #4
The preceding section contained exercises to assist clients in experiencing their emotions. Write two case study examples regarding possible applications of these exercises.

Update
How past trauma impacts emotional intelligence:
Examining the connection

Gottfredson, R. K., & Becker, W. J. (2023). How past trauma impacts emotional intelligence: Examining the connection. Frontiers in psychology, 14, 1067509. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1067509

Peer-Reviewed Journal Article References:
DeTore, N. R., Gottlieb, J. D., & Mueser, K. T. (2021). Prevalence and correlates of PTSD in first episode psychosis: Findings from the RAISE-ETP study. Psychological Services, 18(2), 147–153.

Hyland, P., Karatzias, T., Shevlin, M., McElroy, E., Ben-Ezra, M., Cloitre, M., & Brewin, C. R. (2021). Does requiring trauma exposure affect rates of ICD-11 PTSD and complex PTSD? Implications for DSM–5. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 13(2), 133–141.

Palgi, Y., Karatzias, T., Hyland, P., Shevlin, M., & Ben-Ezra, M. (2021). Can subjective perceptions of trauma differentiate between ICD-11 PTSD and complex PTSD? A cross-cultural comparison of three African countries. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 13(2), 142–148.