Healthcare Training Institute - Quality Education since 1979
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In the last section, we discussed the first two steps in the evaluation stage for dealing with an incident of internet bullying. These first two steps are, see the probable bully first, and identify concerns regarding the problem.
In this section, we will discuss the third and fourth steps in the evaluation stage for dealing with an incident of internet bullying. The third and fourth steps are, gain the individual’s understanding of the situation, and explore the feelings of the individual being seen.
♦ Step # 3 - Individual Understanding
Remember Kasey and Laurie from the last section? I felt that if Kasey and Laurie could agree on the specific time the problem started, they would have something in common from which to work in joint sessions. Helping them reach this common ground would also allow me to pinpoint places that would need more attention in individual sessions.
Laurie perceived the beginning of the problem to be Kasey’s first instant message. However, when I asked Kasey to describe how the problem began, Kasey stated, "It all started when Laurie just came up and shoved me in the hallway." Clearly, Kasey’s perception of the event was very different from that of Laurie, who reported that she accidentally bumped into Kasey in the hallway.
Gentle Leading Technique
During the session, Kasey admitted she had had difficulties with other girls, but was adamant that the previous incidents had nothing to do with what had occurred with Laurie.
To encourage Kasey to further explore the events, I stated, "So, there have been other problems, but you don’t think they are connected with this one. Maybe we should think about some of those other problems. A lot of times there can be similarities that might tell us something important, even when they are not directly connected. Maybe we should talk about some of those other problems that happened recently, or maybe even about other problems something like this one with other students."
♦ Step # 4 - Explore the Feelings of the Individual
Kasey stated. "No, it didn’t bother me. Laurie’s just a jerk like all the other girls."
I used a mild form of confrontation based on a conflict in Kasey’s own statement by stating, "I’m a little confused. You told me it was Laurie shoving into you that caused the problem, but what she did didn’t bother you. How do these things go together?"
Kasey then stated, "Well, I mean I can handle it, but Laurie makes me mad and I had to put her in her place."
To get a better picture of Kasey’s emotions, I asked, "What is this mad feeling like?" As our conversation continued, it became clear that Kasey was very bothered by the teasing she had suffered regarding her early physical development. She felt very pressured to hide the fact that she was bothered by always seeming "in control".
My discussions with Laurie provided a very different emotional picture. Laurie was very ready to say that she was afraid of Kasey. Laurie also seemed to feel very isolated, despite the fact that I had observed several students showing her support. Laurie stated, "I just don’t think anyone wants to get involved and go against Kasey. She’s mean to a lot of people. I felt that I couldn’t go to any of the other girls for help, because if Kasey knew they were helping me, she’d hurt them to. So no matter what I did, it’d just make things worse."
Clearly, both Kasey’s need for control and Laurie’s feeling of isolation would need to be addressed in future sessions. Think of your Kasey and Laurie. How did your exploration of their emotional perceptions of the internet bullying event compare to the techniques I used with Kasey and Laurie?
In this section, we have discussed the second two steps in the evaluation stage for dealing with an incident of internet bullying. These second two steps are, gain the individual’s understanding of the situation, and explore the feelings of the individual being seen.
In the next section, we will discuss the final step in the evaluation stage for dealing with an incident of internet bullying. This final step is to explore potential feelings as seen from the other participant’s point of view.
- Paulson, A., (2003). Internet Bullying. Christian Science Monitor.
Understanding the Roles of Parents and Caregivers in Community-Wide Bullying Prevention Efforts
- StopBullying.gov. (2017, September). Understanding the Roles of Parents and Caregivers in Community-Wide Bullying Prevention Efforts. Retrieved from https://www.stopbullying.gov