Healthcare Training Institute - Quality Education since 1979
CE for Psychologist, Social Worker, Counselor, & MFT!!
Dont put off living your life until you are better. Thats probably just the latest in a series of perfect reasons why you havent fully lived up until this moment. (Ill do it when Im older. Ill do it when Ive learned more. Ill do it when I have more money. Ill do it when I find my soul mate. Ill do it when I have the time. Ill do it when...) Regarding all those things youve put off until later, keep this in mind: youre in your laters now.
life we have either reasons or results. If we dont have what we want (results),
we usually have a long list of reasonable reasons for why we dont have the
results. We tend to rationalize (pronounced rational lies). All this
The idea of work implies there is something you do that you would not do without the reward. For most people, the reward is money. If you associate the primary reward of work with money, we suggest you change the reward. Try loving, maybe. Or service -- knowing you are providing people with something they really need. Sometimes you dont have to change your work. All you have to change is your attitude about work.
If we think of work as a way of manifesting our love, then whatever job we can do can be fulfilling. If youre working at McDonalds, instead of thinking, Oh, God, not another bus load of tourists having a Big Mac Attack! You can think, Im helping provide food so that these people can more fully enjoy their journey. Either way, youll be wrapping the same number of burgers and boxing the same number of fries. With one attitude, however, youll feel miserable; with the other, youll feel loving.
So, if you hate your job, either change your job or change your attitude about the job. One or the other. Dont indulge in negative thinking about it. You may say, I cant afford to be without this job. If youre hopelessly mired in disliking the job, you cant afford to keep it.
Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for any broken agreements in the past. Forgive yourself for judging yourself for having broken those agreements. While youre at it, forgive yourself for breaking any agreements you may make in the future.
It may help you keep your agreements -- and not make agreements you dont plan to keep -- if you understand the four primary reasons people break agreements. They are:
Approval. We say well do something we really dont want to do because
were afraid someone might disapprove of us -- then we dont have time
to keep all the conflicting agreements. In addition, we lose our own self-approval
in the process.
Expecting human beings to keep their agreements is not realistic and an invitation to irritation. When someone breaks an agreement, especially someone important to you, it may bring back earlier images and feelings of being let down, betrayed and abandoned. Use the opportunity to heal these memories from the past, not to add further injury to yourself in the present.
you keep in mind that you cant have everything you want, heres how
to get anything you want:
a Sanctuary to Heal Memories
Be easier on yourself, on everyone and everything. As much as you can, suspend your judgement of the way things should be, must be and ought to be. Suspending these judgements gives you greater ease. Do things that bring you ease -- quiet walks, resting, hot baths, being with friends, meditating, contemplating, reading, writing.
Approach life with new attitudes -- acceptance, patience, flowing, giving, grace, effortlessness, simplicity, allowing, acquiescing, permitting, forgiving. Write these words, and others like them, on separate cards and put them in places you will see them. Pick one of these attitudes each day, and all day, no matter what happens, meet it with that attitude.
A sanctuary is a place you build in your imagination. Its an inner place for you to go to visualize, contemplate, meditate, affirm, do spiritual exercises, solve problems, get advice, heal yourself, relax, have fun, hang out, and communicate with yourself and others.
We call it a sanctuary because the word seems to incorporate the qualities of preciousness, retreat, getting away from it all, safety and refuge. You can call your inner place whatever you choose. Some call it a workshop; others, a shrine or an inner sanctum. The name is not important. Building and using it is.
You build a sanctuary in your imagination. The nice thing about building in your imagination is that the time between design and construction is almost nonexistent. You can try something out, see how you like it, change it, see how you like that, and change your changes, all in a very short time.
Healing of Memories
Now, illuminate the white light around the edges of the video screen. See the situation again, but this time, let it happen exactly the way you would have liked it to have happened. (Remember, never lose in your imagination.) This process actually replaces the painful or fearful memory with a joyful, contented one. For some situations, you may need to repeat it a few times; in other cases, once will do.
Adapted from You Cant Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought. John-Roger & McWilliams, Peter. Prelude Press: Los Angeles, California. (1990)
Reflection Journaling Activity #6