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Facts versus Myths about Controlling Relationships
Legend or myth #1 - Drugs and Alcohol:
According to National studies, although
there is a high correlation between alcohol, or other substance abuse, and battering,
it is not a casual relationship. Batterers use drinking as one of many excuses
for their violence and as a way to place the responsibility for their violence
elsewhere. Stopping the abuser's drinking will not stop the violence. Both battering
and substance abuse need to be addressed separately, as overlapping yet independent
Legend or myth #2 Unhealthy Childhood:
It is important to keep in
mind that, while some men and women were abused as children and they may suffer
from depression or other aftereffects, childhood abuse does not turn them into
abusers. The National Institute of Health has indicated that approximately 65-85%
of adults who were abused as children do not grow up to abuse their children.
While someone may have had an unhealthy childhood, they still have the ability
to make different choices.
Legend or myth #3. Stress:
Life is full of stress, but stress is
never the sole cause of abuse. We all have stress and most are able
to find ways of coping with it without abusing others.
Legend or myth #4 Insecurity:
I am sure you have found, like I,
that many women see insecurity as an excuse for justifying their partner's behavior.
Legend or myth #5 Inner feeelings:
Popular psychology teaches that
people should express their inner feelings. National Institute of Health studies
have illustrated that people who vent their anger become even angrier. Sometimes
these sessions lead to the encouragement of abusive people to vent their
emotions. The result is that they feel they have gained authoritative support
for their explosive tirades